Friday 4 September 2009

It's been a hard day...

Most of the time, blog posts seem to be about the good things in life; wonderful things that have been made, great days with family, the beautiful things we find around us. Unfortunately though, real life doesn't just consist of good things, though I know that as a family we have an abundance of them daily and for that I'm so grateful.

It's just that today life dropped one of its bombshells in our path. One of those things that puts you on a different course from the one you had intended. Remember this post where I wrote about the events surrounding the birth of Pickle, our youngest child? At the end I mentioned that we 'had concerns' about her. Well, today those concerns became a reality. I have had a niggle regarding Pickle since she was just a few months old, a really hard-to-define niggle, but one that just wouldn't go away. I put it down to my background - special needs teacher and Educational Psychologist, but I guess I knew it was a bit more than that.

I finally took the plunge and spoke to my health visitor about my concerns earlier this year and today was the latest in a series of appointments. It lasted for an hour and a half and we walked away with referrals to a speech and language therapist ( the paediatrician has 'grave concerns' about her speech and language development), an optometrist, a hearing specialist and a MDT (multi disciplinary team) for her 'Autistic traits'. We are reeling from the impact of it all and struggling to comprehend what this is going to mean for her future. I've been very tearful all day, even though I had my suspicions, it's so hard to see them in black and white. I can't deny it any more, it's real. I have been on the other side of the fence so many times before in my 'previous life' when I was working, but nothing can prepare you for the impact of hearing the news about one of your own.I'll be better in a few days, once it has all sunk in and will begin planning what we can do - after all, she is still our wonderful Pickle , who so deserves her nickname, who makes us all laugh every day and who charms everyone that she meets. She always will be, no matter what the outcome of all these referrals, and we love her very very much.

(and yes, she really did fall asleep half-way in a basket! We've found her asleep half way down the stairs too.....!!)

11 comments:

  1. Oh, I don't know what to say, so I shall just send hugs and hope that once the dust settles you can all find the support you need for your lovely little Pickle.

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  2. I'm new to your blog. So sorry that you have had this sad news. Your daughter is beautiful by the way. I love the photo of her ironing her teddy! Things will work out because she has a loving family around her. Its just a shock which you need time to get used to. A friend of mine has recently been told her 7 year old is autistic after years of knowing something was not quite right. Its been a bumpy ride but hes just changed (mainstream) schools and is doing brilliantly well now with a more understanding school. You will feel better about it in a couple of days and you are allowed to be upset/angry/worried/anxious for a while. x

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  3. Wow, that is a lot to hear in one day, really hard! Praying for lots of strength for you guys. XXX

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  4. Goodness. That’s one hell of a lot to digest – no matter your professional role. Professional-smeshional. Nothing could prepare you for that socking great wallop to the heart or the pit of your stomach. But you are so right - she is still your wonderful Pickle (who might be required for a few kazillion bear hugs in the next while). I truly hope you can find some time to breathe and digest and find the next baby step forward. And thank you for sharing.

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  5. I don't know what to say that will be of comfort but know that with the love and the care she'll get from you and her family ,life will be ok again. You will all find a way to cope and progress. And any child who likes wrinkle free teddies is ok in my book!

    Love to you and Pickle xxx

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  6. Oh, what a big thing to take in. I can only echo SewScrumptious, really - make sure you let yourself be angry/upset/in pain when you need it. Much love to you all.

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  7. I have just found your blog.
    Pickle looks a gorgeous little girl. Having had a special needs son my self and taught other special children I know how difficult it can be. But I know that the good times out weigh the dfficult ones.

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  8. I love your pictures, her personality really shows through... The iron / teddy picture made me really laugh!

    I'm sorry that you've had such overwhelming news, try to take your time digesting it. No matter what 'labels' she's now been given, she's still the perfect little creature you made and love.

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  9. Oh Maxine, big hugs to you. Having just had a diagnosis of Aspergers for Joe, I can really empathise with what you are going through now. All I can say is that, for us at least, knowing for sure has helped. The waiting for appointments is incredibly frustrating though, so I hope you don't have to wait too long. Please do email me if you want to "talk".
    Rachel xx

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  10. Much love, Pickle is a gem, however she is wired. xx

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  11. How overwhelming for you all, but how right you are to trust your instincts. Love the picture of her asleep in the basket - so sweet!

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